God deserves a Thank You Award!

Thank You Father for rebuking me today.

Not just once but twice.

My discipler reminded me to have longer and deeper quiet times. And for some reason, I felt a sort of reprimanding tone when she said it kahit pa SMS lang sya. Or probably, I associated such a tone because I was guilty.

Since the many Ondoy's that have happened in the past week - the literal typhoon and the figurative emotional typhoon I had - I felt a little detached from God. I'd love to dub it as my rebellious state. My prayers were quick. My bible reading sessions were as quick. I read devotionals but didn't really reflect on them. I was pretty much shutting off.

WRONG. Very wrong.

When I was at my weakest, I refused to draw strength from Him who is strongest.

And the enemy rejoiced at my weakness, lured me into doing things he presented as helping.
Committing sin. Whining. Complaining. Sulking. Jealousy. Hatred.Selfishness.

Helping? What was I thinking?

Today, I was reminded to spend more time with my Father. Reminded that I should be longing for no other embrace but His.

Also, in the devotional I have read today, I was as well reminded to maintain a thankful heart.

“In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I may not really find myself convinced that what happened between me and Love was a direct order. But whether it was a misinterpretation on Love's part or his own desire or just something I don't buy, I believe that it was God's blessing to make it happen.

It hurts, yes. It continues to hurt.
But I am blessed by the fact that I am able to continue despite the hurt.
That I am able to praise and serve despite the hurt.
That I am able to become Love's friend despite the hurt.
That I am able to work despite the hurt.

So to say, it is the blessing of strength that He has provided.
The blessing of discernment and maturity.

It has been my greatest challenge so far.
It has been a challenge to stay in God's will since it has happened.
A challenge to continue to have a thankful heart despite the hurt.

But I know my God will not leave me.
I know my God's plan for me is best.
My God knows my heart.
My God knows the depths, every corner of it.
My God knows when to call it over.
My God knows when to say I can still have a little more.
My God knows me, every inch, every cell, every hair strand.
He knows what is FOR ME.

And I am thankful to have a Father who knows me this well.
Father, more than anyone else, You deserve a THANK YOU award!

Father, thank You.
Thank You for what you've been allowing me to experience.
They are breaking me, Father but You are my source strength.
They are making me give up, Father but You are my hope.