Dear Love

It's been 4 months love.

It's been 4 months since you went away and left me with a person you wanted me to call mommy.

Mommy is okay.
He texts me everyday.
He greets me good morning.
He bids me good night.
He asks me if I'm okay.
He tells me stories.
He makes me smile.
He makes me laugh.
He reminds me to take care.
He would hug me when we meet.
He would kiss me sometimes.
He would put his arms around me when we walk.
He would hold my hand at times.
He assisted me to the office one time.
Mommy treated me to isaw one time too.

But Love, most of the time, i still look for you.

You text me everyday, love and told me you love me as well everyday.
You greet me good morning, love. You greet me good morning with love. Am I still your sunshine?
You always ask me if i'm okay, love. And you'd comfort me everytime I'd say I'm not and each time I don't say I'm not.
You tell me stories, love. A lot of stories. Every single story you have. You used to tell me everything. Razorgirl made turtleboy come out of his shell, right? Mommy is in his shell.
You always make me smile, love. Just the thought of you. You make me smile with just a stare. Mommy cannot look at me in the eye. Not as lovingly as you did in the few times he did/tried.
You always make me laugh, love. You might be corny, love pero benta sakin lahat. I sometimes find mommy corny.
You didn't just remind me to take care, love but you took care of me in prayer, in presence and in spirit. I don't think mommy cared as much.
You loved to hug me, love. Didn't you? You loved hugging me around my waist and I loved you doing that. You loved me hugging you too, love, right? Especially when I do it to surprise you. Remember how we used to fall asleep in each other's arms? Our arms used to be each other's security blanket. I can be mommy's, but Mommy's hug didn't make me feel as secure.
Do you remember how we loved to kiss? And how each kiss shouted 'i love you'? Mommy kisses me but I don't know why he does it.
You always put your arms around me, love. Again, I've always felt secured. Mommy does the same but he's not able to make me feel the same.
You loved holding my hand, love and I loved holding yours too. Holding it made me feel that I have you. I sometimes hold mommy's hand, but I still have a feeling that he'll go away in no time.
You did a lot of special things for me love.
You walked me home, carried me home (remember how we used to enjoy the piggy back rides?). You always left sweet notes on my planner love.
You always put me to sleep. You helped me with my thesis too love.
You didn't sleep for my BC 197 music video.
You cried with me love. Remember the many times we did that together?
There are a lot more things I remember, love. Things you did for me. Things we did together.

I miss you love.
I can't even begin to tell you how much.
I miss everything you made me feel.
I miss everything about you, everything about us.

Mommy is okay love. But I would still prefer you over him.
When are you coming back, love? Or are you still coming back?
Do you think of me too, love?
Do you still remember me?
Do you still look for me?
Do you still pray for me?

Love?
Love?